I’ve been thinking a lot about words. Whether it is for poetry, my diary or even this blog. They are so so powerful and I feel as though I have been reckless with what I have said or even written. My church had a prayer breakfast and the topic was about effective prayer, but then the amazing speaker started talking about gossiping as well. I felt so convicted although I never mean to gossip I find myself falling a victim to it. She also talked about not telling all of your business and well obviously with writing a lifestyle blog and trying to be as open and honest as possible I fail to do that too to some extent. However, I started thinking that maybe telling your business isn’t always a bad thing because a lot of times other’s stories help me so why can’t my story possibly help someone else.
I’ll be honest. Right now I feel like even though I’m trying so hard to change I can’t do it. Don’t get me wrong I can definitely change and be healed through Christ, but that’s the thing I haven’t been completely leaning on the LORD and that’s why I feel so terrible right now. I thought I was better and I am physically, but emotionally and spiritually I am drained. Mostly because of the decisions I chose to make, and there is genuine regret. The first step to healing is asking for forgiveness and I’ve done that. The second step is forgiving myself and I’m trying to get better at that.
The Holy Spirit has been so powerful this weekend. He made me humble myself and do things that I never thought I would do and I had fun doing it. Just stepping outside of your comfort zone just opens up a whole new world of opportunities that I would have regretted not taking before because of pride. He knows that my heart is heavy and I am finally ready to let him deliver me. Whoever he brings to give me the help I will say “Yes Please” and be grateful as well as glad about it. There is no shame in your game to need help and to ask for it. I’ve had to learn that the hard way, but you don’t have to do the same. I can already see God working on my frustrations and giving me rest and although things aren’t perfect I can still genuinely praise him no matter who is looking or who is saying what because they have no power over me anymore. I am so glad we serve a living God that will cast our sins as far as the east is from the west and gave his only begotten son to die for our sins. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and I hope that you do too because it is never too late. He’s ready for you to just let him in and experience his grace and mercy just like I do; a sinner like me. I’m so glad I can talk to the Lord about anything myself and don’t have to go through anyone or anything else and he hears my cry and my call. The best part is he answers me and I know he will answer you too. Have a Blessed day!