Reflection | Perfectionism Issues | How Not to Let the Pressure to Be Perfect Get You Down

Perfectionism. This is a real struggle for me and I’m sure it is for someone else whether you’re a woman like me or even a man. It started out so innocently as a child wanting to please my parents, especially my mom. She has always been my toughest critic right underneath myself, but there are some days where I feel she has me beat. Really, now that I’m starting to find inner peace it is more like most days she has me beat and that’s okay. Trust me she means well, but the delivery isn’t always the best, but I digress. The pressure to be perfect lead to low self-esteem, anger issues, anxiety, and unnecessary stress because when it comes down to it unless it is a life or death situation most likely nothing that bad will happen if you don’t get everything right. Heck, even your doctor makes mistakes! The only person I know that has never and will never make a mistake in his life is Jesus Christ himself, but even he shows grace to you and me by understanding we will never be on that level and why die trying to be on an unobtainable level that he already died for and had God raise him from the dead so that we don’t have to be perfect. Don’t get me wrong it is perfectly okay to take pride in your work and want to make as little mistakes as possible, but honestly, as long as you do your best that should always be enough for you even if mama or the haters to the left don’t think so. How I found inner peace personally was:

1. Getting closer to God who is my refuge because “He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).”

2. Getting Confident by focusing on what I do well instead of dwelling in the negative of things I do terribly that of course, I’m still working on.

3. Surrounding myself with positivity whether that be things or people and distancing myself from those things and people, even if they happen to be family members, that constantly bring negativity in my life. Heck, I just got fired for throwing my shoe at a window at work (anger issues) after already putting in my two weeks a week and a half ago so I know about a negative environment lol.

4. Finally accepting that there was no way I could be perfect and that my flaws are what make me unique and most of all make me, me and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

5. Becoming freaking fearless and living my best life whatever that means to me! Because you know what? God hasn’t given any of us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) so for me, that meant getting a tattoo and signing a lease to an apartment in a poppin’ city and standing up to some family members who I’m not really sure love me still, but who cares because I love me and God loves me so I’m doing pretty great!

I know a lot of this is easier said than done, but trust me y’all just try by taking baby steps and I promise it will get easier and you will start to see the progress. It feels freaking amazing when you can start to feel the change on the inside even if it doesn’t seem that everything on the outside is changing. Just keep praying and keep being what you were created to be the best YOU that YOU can be! My pastor encouraged me to start reading Philippians so I want to pass that challenge along to you. That way no matter the situation, just like Paul, you will learn how to be content amidst the storm. Hope this helped!